


Storm

by coveredsnow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ACWNR, Angst, Crying Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, L is for Levi who hasn't suffered enough clearly, Whump, f is for friends who look after each other, post-ACWNR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 03:38:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11199687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredsnow/pseuds/coveredsnow
Summary: Levi doesn't do well with bad weather.





	Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Levi’s backstory made me sad. What do we do with sadness? We poke it with a stick.
> 
> Where are they? Why are they? Who knows. It’s random expedition x with mission y with squads z. There aren't any spoilers here (for Attack on Titan, anyway - spoilers for the prequels about Levi), I was basically just chucking people together to make the scene I wanted make sense.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! I think we can agree he needs to let it out more.

“We’ll have to make camp.”

“Already? There’s another four hours of daylight at least!”

“There’s a storm coming,” Erwin answered Eren grimly, as Levi stared at the dark clouds visible in the distance. “We don’t want to get caught in a storm.”

***

They followed the map to an abandoned farmhouse surrounded by a few trees, several miles away from the village they had aimed to make base, and quickly set up camp.

“We’re losing time today, which means early rise tomorrow,” Erwin told the cadets. “This isn’t leisure time. Get some sleep. I expect you at your best in the morning.”

“Hange,” Levi murmured as they walked from the sleeping area towards the entrance, “Would you mind taking watch? I know I usually go first, but-“

“Yeah, no problem!” Hange said, grabbing him by the chin and peering intently into his face. “Wow, you do look peaky! You volunteer for watch so often I assumed you enjoyed it!”

“Well, I could do with a bit of rest tonight. I’ll sleep here in case of emergencies, but if you could get the cadets to relieve you I’d be grateful.”

“Yeah, sure!” Hange looked at him more closely. “You ok?”

“Fine,” Levi replied. “Just tired.”

He lay down by the wall as Hange walked to the door, raising an eyebrow at her when she looked back. He closed his eyes, pulled a blanket tight around him, and willed himself to fall asleep before the first drop of rain hit.

***

He was lying on the ground, blood dripping into his mouth, staring up at a dark sky and himself, who was shaking him, yelling, “Levi! **Levi!** ”

He jerked awake to Hange’s hands on his shoulders.

“Levi! Two 3-4 metre class titans approaching. You and me, yeah?”

There was a rumble of thunder, and Levi flinched.

“Yeah. Cadets awake?”

“Just about, but I don’t think we need to get them involved, especially not in this weather. We can handle this easily, then there’s, what, half an hour of daylight left?”

Already prepared, Levi put a hand over his blades and followed Hange towards the door. It was just rain. And two small titans. It would be over in seconds.

Outside, the rain was too heavy to see clearly. He shot straight up to the trees on the left, while Hange took the right. They were beginning to shake from the footsteps of the approaching titans. He saw them staggering towards the building, hideous swollen bellies and stretched grins. The wind was howling in his ears.

_Isabel!_

He twisted around – had he heard –

_Isabel!_

He squinted through the dark caused by the thunder clouds and the pouring rain. They sounded like they needed help … if he could get back in time -

“Levi!”

He felt a rush of warm air and without thinking shot to the tree opposite, barely missing the titan’s outstretched hand. He cursed as he spun around its back, slicing its nape open in a decisive blow.

“What the _hell_ , Levi!”

Hange hung over her titan, which was lying on the ground with its head all but severed. She was staring at him in shock.

Levi felt his gorge rise. He dropped to the ground and swept back inside.

“ _Hey!_ ”

He removed his gear just inside the door. He didn’t want to see the blood. He undid his cape, too, and shrugged out of his sodden jacket. He was shaking from the cold. From the cold.

“Captain?” Connie stepped forwards, holding out a dry blanket, looking at him curiously. Levi glanced over the cadets, a head-count that was second nature. He focused on Jean, feigning insouciance, picking the dirt from under his nails. He saw Furlan. Stupid, foolhardy Furlan, who believed he was invincible, who never thought anything could happen to him. He ignored Connie, brushing past the crowd, boots squelching. Furlan in his arms, face dripping with blood, water mixed with blood. His heartbeat was too loud, too fast, and the room swam and he braced a hand against the wall.

“Levi?” Hange was inside now, which he should have checked before taking his gear off, before walking away. Fucking hell, she could have been killed. It happened so easily. He’d never even seen Isabel’s body. Had Furlan? Had Furlan seen her bloody and torn before he’d died?

“Levi, are you injured?” Right. He should move. Furlan had been so still, no expression, his fingers weren’t even twitching, he’d been so limp as he carried him. He went to take a step forward and his knees buckled.

“Captain!” Alarmed shouts from the cadets, and an arm under him – Mikasa – as he slid down the wall.

“Get the _fuck_ away from me,” he tried to snarl. It came out as a hoarse whisper. And he couldn’t make his legs work, he was going to get them all killed, how _fucking_ useless was a fucking captain who couldn’t work in the _fucking rain –_

“He’s hyperventilating,” he heard from above, and Hange’s shhing just added to the embarrassment, as there was a clatter of footsteps and tentative hands held out a mug … he could feel the warmth coming from it … he reached out with clumsy, frozen fingers, and tried to blame the cold for how much his hands were shaking. The heat almost burned, but the pain gave him something to focus on, think about the pain, not how their faces must have looked when they died, how you didn’t get there in time to hear their last words …

A small whine escaped him, and the panicked whispers above silenced immediately. Why the hell Hange hadn’t got them to piss off yet was beyond him. He tried to breathe, but every breath came at the risk of a sob, and _fuck_ him if he was going to cry in front of cadets. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe –

“Everybody out.” About _fucking_ time. The deep voice from the door caused everyone to scatter, and he inhaled a little easier, tears starting to run down his cheeks as the door slammed after Hange. _Fuck_ , this was embarrassing.

“Levi?”

“Erwin.” He shuddered, nausea rising in his throat, Erwin at the end of his blade and the thunder clapping above – “I don’t need to see you right now.” He breathed carefully through his nose, keeping his voice steady.

“Right. I understand.” Erwin paused, helplessness never showing on his face, though he must be at a loss for how to deal with Levi slumped against the wall, knees to his chest, hands clamped around a mug like it was the only thing tethering him to earth. Levi laughed. It sounded high and strange. His fucking ‘reputation’. Try intimidating a cadet who thought you were frightened by a storm.

“I’ll … just. There’s no rush. Take the time you need.” And he left for the sleeping area.

Alone, Levi bent his head between his knees, breathing in the fumes from the mug – tea … it was tea. He smiled even as tears slid down his face. Who had brought luxury items on a fucking expedition? He bet it was Sasha. He was going to fucking _kill_ them.

Levi rested the mug on the floor as a heaving sob escaped him. He was unfamiliar with crying, and he was pretty sure he was bad at it. He didn’t know how to control his breathing to stop making these stupid fucking noises that did nothing to block out the sound of the rain drumming outside. Isabel looking at him with complete faith, so sure, never doubting, not even for a second, that he’d come back for her … Had she doubted at the end? Had she doubted? Had she suddenly grown up, just in time to die? 

The door opened again, and Levi stuffed a fist in his mouth to muffle what was now uncontrollable sobbing. Town _fucking_ central here, apparently. He didn’t look up to see who it was, sure he looked ridiculous by this point.

“Levi.” Hange. “The cadets snore too loudly. I’m just going to sit here and do some paperwork.”

Paperwork? As if they’d bring writing supplies on an expedition. It was enough to get Levi to raise his head, bewildered, and there was Hange, sitting in the corner miming writing in thin air. She looked up, gave him a wan smile, and returned to staring intently at her imaginary work. Fucking nutter. Levi snorted, immediately regretted that decision given the amount of mucus he was currently producing, and rested his forehead on his knee, observing in a detached way the rhythm of his body shaking. He clenched his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms as another roll of thunder showed Furlan lying face-down, blood matting his hair.

“Oh, I made these.” Footsteps came towards him, and however shaky his knees were he would fucking fly-kick her if she initiated physical contact. Two small objects rolled on the floor in front of him. He rubbed at his eyes and made out what looked like two waxy little balls.

“Ear-plugs,” Hange said, before Levi could ask whether she’d actually lost it this time. “Helps to block out the snoring. Or whatever.”

Levi picked them up. They were slightly malleable. He put one in each ear. His own laboured breathing and the beating of his heart were too loud, but the rain was gone. He looked up at Hange, who was slightly blurred at the edges.

“It’s too fucking loud in here,” he managed hoarsely, gesturing towards his own head. Hange raised an eyebrow, gestured for him to talk more quietly, and returned to the corner.

Levi sniffed, the tears mostly silent now, and he let his knees down, leaning his head back. The pain that had felt so urgent was drifting back towards its usual dull ache. He closed his eyes and forced himself to remember their faces, tracing over every feature in as much detail as possible. As far as he could tell, he was the only one who would care to remember them.

And he would remember them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Poor Levi. You know, before this came into my mind, I had this nice little reunion hc where they were all magically alive and it was very emotional in a nice way. But let's be honest, this is much more likely in this hellscape.
> 
> This is my first completed fic, so if you would like to leave a comment or kudos I'd really appreciate it!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at [coveredsnow](http://coveredsnow.tumblr.com/)! Taking prompts, don't be shy :)


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